In Sunshine or in Shadow

I lost this battle of wits.  The kid can stare down anyone without blinking!  I wish I could post pics, but I seem to be having some trouble with photobucket...here is the link.

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1. Going to Fenway Park

2. Riding the T

3. the history--Old North Church, etc.

4. reading the Boston Globe everyday

5. Hanging out at the Boston Harbor and thinking "this is where the tea party happened."

Recently I had a chance to interview an airplane seat cushion.  The following is a transcript of this interview:

IR: Hiya Airplane Seat Cushion!! 

ASC: Hi irish.  This is rather odd.

IR: Ah, who cares.  Say, is it true that you can be used as a floatation device in case of an emergency water landing?

ASC: Yes, if you are an anorexic midget--otherwise you are fucked.

IR: Do you cringe when a 500 pound man with sweat stains in his pants comes walking toward you?

ASC: Wouldn't you?  That's airplane seat cushion abuse.

IR: What is the most famous butt that has sat on you?  That sentence was poorly constructed.

ASC: Yes it was, homey.  The most-famous person to sit on me (please note the grammar) was a tie.  Once Shakira sat on me and I prayed the entire flight for an emergency water landing.  Then then next week, Ashley Judd rode me like a mechanical bull.

IR: I didn't know seat cushions could be sexually stimulated.

ASC: I didn't know you could interview them either.

IR: Listen here fucker.  If you are going to be rude then we are done here.  Have you ever had someone spill hot coffee on you?

ASC: Coffee is one of the BEST things I have had dumped on me.  I remember once someone took a dump on me.  People are complete morons.  If you crap on your airplane seat, you should be banished from flying for 5 years and have to take bowel-movement classes.

IR: This is an excellent place to stop I think...

ASC: I bet you have bowel issues irish...let's talk about that shall we?

IR: (irish kicks the seat cushion 50 yards and runs....)

Recently I had a sit down interview with a roll of quarters.  The following is a transcript of the proceedings,

IR: Welcome, Roll of Quarters!! It's great to talk to you before you head off to the bank!

ROQ: Thanks, Irish.  I am very excited to get to the bank. I've been scattered around in some milk tin for the last 23 years.

IR: What is that like?  I mean, you have some of you near the top, the rest of you at the bottom.  Do you ever talk to the nickles and dimes?

ROQ: Sometimes.  The dimes think their shit doesn't stink so I try to stay away from them.  I'm like, dude--I am worth so much more than you.  Then they counter with "Size doesn't matter", and I'm like--dude, yes it does, trust me.  I went out on a date with a Susan B. Anthony dollar a few weeks ago and trust me, size mattered.

IR: What do you think of those dollar coins?

ROQ: Well, for the most part they are pretty cool.  The Susan B Anthony dollar I dated could suck the stripes off a zebra if you know what I mean.

IR: Um...yeah.  I like those new state quarters...they are very sparkly, very twinkly.

ROQ: You sound like Rainman before his date with Iris.  Yeah I like the new quarters too--except for the southern quarters.  All of those should have Lee surrendering to Grant on the back.

IR: Hahahahaha!  Good one, roll of quarters!  Well, I am afraid our time is about up!  Thanks for joining us today!  Any last thoughts before you head to the bank?

ROQ: Not really.  Just remember--if you flip a quarter 100 times the same way each time, you have way too much time on your hands.

IR: Good point.

"I am the decider" says President Bush. (via cnn.com)

Here are a few suggestions then for you to decide on:

1. Decide to use proper grammar when speaking in public.

2. Decide on exit strategies before entering a war.

3. Decide how to lower gasoline prices.

4. Decide how to stop corruption within your own government.  Maybe wiretap them to see what they are up to.

Anyone else care to add to this list?

Late Night with Baby-O and nothing to do but flip through the channels.  I came across Entertainment Tonight, or "ET" for all you hip people who eat KFC.

Just how many features on the Golden Girls can one show do?  How many consecutive years do we have to hear about Delta Burke's struggle with weight?  Mary Hart--she is STILL on?  Do Mary and Vanna White age at all?

These are questions I simply cannot answer.  They are mysteries...enigmas.  All we can do is keep living and let the chips fall as they may.

Speaking of CHIPS, I am sure ET will be doing their annual "Where is Eric Estrada now?" segment.  I can't wait.

Let's start off with something light... 

 MALIBU, California (AP) -- Child welfare officials and a sheriff's deputy visited Britney Spears' home in California because her infant son was accidentally dropped from a high chair, People Magazine and the Los Angeles Times reported.

How is this news?  Why do people care THAT much for it to be on the front page of CNN.com?   Oops, she did it again.

WASHINGTON (AP) - The two top Republicans in Congress, confronted with internal party divisions as well as large public demonstrations, said Tuesday they intend to pass immigration legislation that does not subject illegal immigrants to prosecution as felons.

Just add this to the laundry list of ridiculous legislation that had no chance in hell of passing during the debacle that has been the Bush Presidency. I was thinking last night that I can't remember when the immigration issue has been such a hot topic in the last 25 years.  There are some major league protests going on out there.  It's too late to do anything about this issue by the way.  Way, way too late. 

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) - Iran intends to move toward large-scale uranium enrichment involving 54,000 centrifuges, the country's deputy nuclear chief said Wednesday, signaling its resolve to expand a program the international community has insisted it halt.

Two words: Bomb them.  Dust off the Enola Gay and bomb Tehran.  Yes I said it.  I'm tired of Iran.