Marshmallow the interview.
11.22.05 (8:11 pm) [edit]
I had a chance to sit down with Marshmallow, the pardoned turkey, for an interview. The following is the transcript.
[b]IR: Well Marshmallow, you did it. President Bush saw fit to give you a pardon this year.[/b]
[i]MM: Yeah Irish, it was awful nice with W to pardon me. I mean with all he has on his plate, I guess he felt compelled to spare my life.[/i]
[b]IR: What was it like to meet the President?[/b]
[i]MM: Bizarre. Everyone on the turkey farm told me that he was stupid and an awful President. I found him charming, in a Texan sort of way.[/i]
[b]IR: What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal? Personally I like....[/b]
[i]MM: You have to be kidding. What kind of a question is that? Don't you know that turkeys hate Thanksgiving? Why not ask a pig what he thinks of Easter dinner? Moron.[/i]
[b]IR: Easy there chief. I guess I see your point. So tell me more about your trip to Washington. Rumor has it you flew first class.[/b]
[i]MM: Yeah, first class. I was in the cargo hold of an American Airlines 757. I was caged next to a Dalmation with bad gas and a kitty cat that thought my feathers had catnip in them. What a fucking trip that was, let me tell you.[/i]
[b]IR: Yikes. A dalmation with gas is not a pretty sight.[/b]
[i]MM: The smell ain't to good either, Butterball.[/i]
[b]IR: I like the brand name response. Very clever for a turkey. Let me ask you this. If you drop a ton of feathers from the Sears tower, and a ton of bricks too, which will hit the ground first?[/b]
[i]MM: Let's make this interesting. How about adding a ton of monkey dung to the mix and see what happens.[/i]
[b]IR: See, now that's fun. Ok, which hits the ground first.[/b]
[i]MM: You. See, for asking such a stupid question, I would push you off the ledge first, then wait about 10 minutes and then drop the dung, the bricks and the feathers. So, I would say, you would hit the ground first. By the way, you would be dead.[/i]
[b]IR: This interview sucks. I think that bird flu has ruined what little brain you have.[/b]
[i]MM: This interview sucks. I think that bird flu...[/i]
[b]IR: STOP COPYING ME![/b]
[i]MM: Irish, I think that bird flu has given you limited patience.[/i]
[b]IR: Well Marshmallow, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for spending time with us. Any last thoughts?[/b]
[i]MM: Thanks Irish. I really like this blogging thing. Yeah I do want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all the turkeys that made the cut this year. I also want to wish Vice President Dick Cheney a good Thanksgiving too. Please Dick, don't torture the cook if he or she burns the stuffing.[/i]
[b]IR: Well said.[/b]
[b]IR: Well Marshmallow, you did it. President Bush saw fit to give you a pardon this year.[/b]
[i]MM: Yeah Irish, it was awful nice with W to pardon me. I mean with all he has on his plate, I guess he felt compelled to spare my life.[/i]
[b]IR: What was it like to meet the President?[/b]
[i]MM: Bizarre. Everyone on the turkey farm told me that he was stupid and an awful President. I found him charming, in a Texan sort of way.[/i]
[b]IR: What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal? Personally I like....[/b]
[i]MM: You have to be kidding. What kind of a question is that? Don't you know that turkeys hate Thanksgiving? Why not ask a pig what he thinks of Easter dinner? Moron.[/i]
[b]IR: Easy there chief. I guess I see your point. So tell me more about your trip to Washington. Rumor has it you flew first class.[/b]
[i]MM: Yeah, first class. I was in the cargo hold of an American Airlines 757. I was caged next to a Dalmation with bad gas and a kitty cat that thought my feathers had catnip in them. What a fucking trip that was, let me tell you.[/i]
[b]IR: Yikes. A dalmation with gas is not a pretty sight.[/b]
[i]MM: The smell ain't to good either, Butterball.[/i]
[b]IR: I like the brand name response. Very clever for a turkey. Let me ask you this. If you drop a ton of feathers from the Sears tower, and a ton of bricks too, which will hit the ground first?[/b]
[i]MM: Let's make this interesting. How about adding a ton of monkey dung to the mix and see what happens.[/i]
[b]IR: See, now that's fun. Ok, which hits the ground first.[/b]
[i]MM: You. See, for asking such a stupid question, I would push you off the ledge first, then wait about 10 minutes and then drop the dung, the bricks and the feathers. So, I would say, you would hit the ground first. By the way, you would be dead.[/i]
[b]IR: This interview sucks. I think that bird flu has ruined what little brain you have.[/b]
[i]MM: This interview sucks. I think that bird flu...[/i]
[b]IR: STOP COPYING ME![/b]
[i]MM: Irish, I think that bird flu has given you limited patience.[/i]
[b]IR: Well Marshmallow, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for spending time with us. Any last thoughts?[/b]
[i]MM: Thanks Irish. I really like this blogging thing. Yeah I do want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all the turkeys that made the cut this year. I also want to wish Vice President Dick Cheney a good Thanksgiving too. Please Dick, don't torture the cook if he or she burns the stuffing.[/i]
[b]IR: Well said.[/b]
Why cranberries suck.
11.21.05 (7:42 pm) [edit]
I go to the grocery this time of year and I see them sitting there so happy and attractive. They look so tasty. I start creating dishes in my mind....I even start acting like Bubba from Forest Gump....
Cranberry sauce
Cranberry muffins
Cranberry bread
Cranberry Chess pie
But then I taste what I make and it's still the same old crap. Cranberries are not all that good. I still love the canned cranberry sauce in jellied form--I always have a can ready for Thanksgiving. Other than that I would rather eat a big piece of poo.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I couldn't be happier. I love this time of year and I love the day itself. I am thankful for so much in my life. Lessons learned, family, new beginnings....
Take time to tell the special people in your life how much they mean to you. Don't waste another minute. I've learned this well the last six months or so. Make it count. Enjoy this wonderful holiday. I wish everyone the best of Thanksgivings.
--C
Cranberry sauce
Cranberry muffins
Cranberry bread
Cranberry Chess pie
But then I taste what I make and it's still the same old crap. Cranberries are not all that good. I still love the canned cranberry sauce in jellied form--I always have a can ready for Thanksgiving. Other than that I would rather eat a big piece of poo.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I couldn't be happier. I love this time of year and I love the day itself. I am thankful for so much in my life. Lessons learned, family, new beginnings....
Take time to tell the special people in your life how much they mean to you. Don't waste another minute. I've learned this well the last six months or so. Make it count. Enjoy this wonderful holiday. I wish everyone the best of Thanksgivings.
--C
Buckeyes beat Michigan!
11.19.05 (11:59 am) [edit]
What a comeback!!! 25-21!!
GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Big Game
11.18.05 (7:40 pm) [edit]
Tomorrow (well, actually today), is the biggest game in college football, bar none. Ohio State vs. Michigan. It's huge around these parts and as always, the stakes are high for both teams, making the game even more exciting.
I used to get all worked up in a frenzy over the big game. If the Buckeyes lost, I would be devistated for days. A few years back I realized that OSU/Mich is a game for the students and the student athletes that play the game. We can all root and root hard for our favorite team, but in the end, putting so much stock into a game played by 18-22 year olds just doesn't make much sense.
Plus, over the last 50 years of the rivalry, the series is deadlocked--meaning one year you are up, the next you are down. Yes, Ohio State has won 3 of the last 4, but it all evens out over time.
So, tomorrow we are having brauts on the grill, some cold beer and some fun watching the biggest game of the year for both sides. After that, it's time to prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lots to be thankful for this year. I wish everyone out there the very best of holidays for you and your family.
--C
I used to get all worked up in a frenzy over the big game. If the Buckeyes lost, I would be devistated for days. A few years back I realized that OSU/Mich is a game for the students and the student athletes that play the game. We can all root and root hard for our favorite team, but in the end, putting so much stock into a game played by 18-22 year olds just doesn't make much sense.
Plus, over the last 50 years of the rivalry, the series is deadlocked--meaning one year you are up, the next you are down. Yes, Ohio State has won 3 of the last 4, but it all evens out over time.
So, tomorrow we are having brauts on the grill, some cold beer and some fun watching the biggest game of the year for both sides. After that, it's time to prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lots to be thankful for this year. I wish everyone out there the very best of holidays for you and your family.
--C