In Sunshine or in Shadow

First off, let me tell you about my golf game today. I played 18 holes, had 5 pars and 2 birdies. For a golfer like me, that is damn good. The kicker, along with that were scores of 8, 7, 9 and 10. My buddies were flat out perplexed. I should shoot much better than I do. Then again, I don't play or practice enough. If I did, I would be good and then I would expect to shoot that little white ball in the hole with the best of them. Now, I can just impress people 7 out of 18 holes and feel good about myself. Life is funny that way.

Life is just plain funny period sometimes :)

[b]Dear Irish,

After our last interview, I felt rather bad because I was so high on free drugs. I will admit that I took a few cialis before we talked, and the night before I went on a Xanax binder. When we did our interview, I was so hard my sweatpants could hardly contain me, and well...I couldn't wait to get back and check out more porn on the website.

I know I am slow. Sometimes I resemble an old lady in a walker, trying to walk down a street in Chicago with a 50 mph wind in her face. As I have explained, I am distracted by the numerous drug blogs and free porn sites on what used to be a respectable blog site.

I do not know what the future holds for T Blog. I haven't talked to Rocky in a long time, in fact, I don't even know where he is. Rumor has it that Rocky cut a deal with Blingdaddy to take over T Blog and infiltrate its users with porn and drug blogs. If this is true, all I do is apologize to you, a paid customer and all of the young users under the age of 18 who are able to access this crap each and every day.

I would write more, but honestly, I am so jacked up on Viagra today and really need to go masturbate 5 or 6 times. I do hope this letter finds you in good spirits and that you will always remember that if you ever need a fix, I can cut you a great deal. Again, my apologies for being such a shitty server.

Yours Truly,

The T Blog Server[/b]

According to the Social Security Administration, these are the top names in America for babies during the period 2000-2004:

Male: 1. Jacob 2. Michael 3. Joshua 4. Matthew 5. Andrew

Female: 1. Emily 2. Madison 3. Hannah 4. Emma 5. Ashley

Well, as you can see, I am going to re-think my female puppy name! This is a fascinating website. My name, Craig ranks 391 on the list of male names given to babies from 2000-2004. More males during this period have been named Trevon, Felix, Rodney, Abel, Maximillian, Xavier and Alejandro than CRAIG!

Consequently, 3295 babies have my name since January 1, 2000.

If you are about to give birth consider this:

Since 2000, 154,161 boys have been named Jacob and 125,564 named Emily.

If you would like to know where your name ranks on the list, send me a comment and I will let you know!

[i]Recently I sat down with the T Blog server and interviewed it. The following is a transcript of our conversation...[/i]



[b]IR: Welcome T Blog Server![/b]
TBS: Hi irish, sorry I was late. I am really slow.

[b]IR: Well, I have to be honest. Yes you are. Like a hippo in mud I think I wrote once. Really thick mud. Thick, thick thick mud. Very thick..[/b]
TBS: OK SHUT THE FUCK UP I GET IT!

[b]IR: Ok. So T Blog Server, what is it that makes you so schitzo? I mean one day you run like a champ, the next day you are like a three legged cat chasing turds on an icepond.[/b]
TBS: Irish, I miss Rocky. I rarely ever see Rocky anymore ever since Rocky took a long vacation to Antarctica. Also, the porn blogs really hurt my performance.

[b]IR: Because there are so many, which makes you slow?[/b]
TBS: No, because I like them so much. I mean some of those pictures are hot. It's really hard to focus on doing my job when hot MILF's are wearing thongs and kissing each other...

[b]IR: Too much fucking information TBS.[/b]
TBS: Then there are the drug blogs. I get tons of free viagra and percocet, xanax and cialis. Dude, let me tell ya--you pop a xanax and a couple cialis and check out Blingdaddy's blogs and you would crash every 5 minutes too.

[b]IR: I can see this was a bad idea. Anyway, do you ever read the blogs? If so, what are some favorites of yours--besides the drug and porn?[/b]
TBS: Oh yes! I love your blog! I also like the porn and drug blogs a lot.

[b]IR: Are you on xanax now? Because I specifically asked you to name blogs OTHER than the drug and porn blogs dumbass![/b]
TBS: Oh. Ok...yeah I really like those drug and porn blogs.

[b]IR: GOD YOU FRUSTRATE ME![/b]
TBS: Then go to blogdrive or xanga if you are so unhappy.

[b]IR: I can't.[/b]
TBS: Why not?

[b]IR: Well, because they don't have good drug and porn blogs.[/b]
TBS: LOL! So you like them too?

[b]IR: I WILL ASK THE DAMN QUESTIONS![/b]
TBS: Are you on ritalin? If not I can cut you a sweet deal on some.

[b]IR: You are.....anyway...what do you think of T Blurt? Does that ever slow you down?[/b]
TBS: No, not really. I mean T Blurt is like bran. You really don't need it unless you are stopped up, but sometimes a good dose of it does your body good.

[b]IR: Ok this interview is over.[/b]
TBS: Why? This is fun.

[b]IR: No, it really isn't. Besides, all this talk of bran has me needing to use the restroom.[/b]
TBS: Dude, if you need some Imodium I can get you a sweet deal on some pills....

[b]IR: I bet you could T Blog Server. I bet you could.[/b]

Yes, I gave blood today so that others can live. But what is really important is I got some yummy orange drink and a cookie afterwards. I like orange punch.

I decided on Hannah or Truman for the new doggy.

I didn't like my sushi last night.

Victims of domestic violence are not protected enough in our country and it makes me sick. Today Ohio took a step in the right direction. It's not enough, but for now it's a start. The law was named after a woman who was repeatedly battered by her estranged husband. I sincerely hope that other states will follow suit and make domestic violence a top priority. I am tired of seeing things like this happen in this country.


[b]HAMILTON, OHIO (AP) -- Governor Taft will be in the Hamilton area in southwest Ohio this morning to sign Amy’s Law—legislation which toughens bond requirements in domestic violence cases.

The bill is named after Amy Rezos, a 36-year-old Hamilton-area mother of two who survived three murder attempts by her estranged husband, Christopher Rezos.

Christopher Rezos pleaded guilty to attempted murder and is serving a 30-year prison sentence.

Backers of the legislation say he wouldn’t have been allowed out of jail after the first attack if the law had been in force.[/b]

Tonight I went to Petsmart to get stuff. A water bowl, a food dish, a leash, blah blah, blah blah. Now, I have the male dog name set in stone. Truman. That's a done deal. But just when I think I have the female dog name set (Madison), things take a major turn.

B and I are walking down the doggy aisle and she says, "I like the name Hannah." Great. So do I. Now what? There is only one thing I can do...

I have to put it to a vote. Everyone gets one vote. IF I choose a female choco lab, which name would you pick? Hannah or Madison? (I am picking the puppy I am most drawn to). The voting goes until tomorrow at 11PM. Which do you like best? (please only vote for one or the other).

So, which is it? Hannah or Madison.

Well, I have decided on a name for my soon to be new doggy. If I get a male lab I am naming him Truman and a female lab will be named Madison.

I gave in to the temptation of naming a chocolate lab hershey or something like that. I swear if I go to the park and yell Hershey half the dogs would probably come to me. And well, I only have so much love to give!

I am really excited! Yes I promise to post pictures as soon as I get them.

I just talked to my mom who informed me that she and M are breaking things off. She sounded sad, but as her oldest son I am glad she called me first, and I am thankful that our family will take her in for as long as she needs it.

I did have to laugh though--one of the first things she told me was that she signed up for medical insurance at work because she knew I would be on her case...that made me smile.

I am driving up to see her this weekend to give support and a really big hug.

Today I decided that I am going to get a lab. It will be a lot of work, but it's what I really want and I miss not having a dog in my life. I am looking at chocolate labs after work today. Thanks to everyone who gave me doggy advice :)

I also dropped off a bunch of clothing and other items to the Goodwill today. They had been sitting in my apartment for months collecting dust. After last night's epiphany (extreme makeover post), I decided to get my ass moving and drop the clothes off. Hopefully someone will be able to make good use of them.

Saturday I am dropping off a bunch of supplies to a local shelter that I have been affiliated with for a few years. They take things like shampoo, soap, etc...for battered women. I hate that there is a place like that. I hate going there and seeing what I see. But I thank God everyday that they are being helped and may soon find their way back.

It's only the first day....but it feels really good.

I have a question for the general t blog community and would appreciate any feedback I can get. I would like to get a dog (puppy). Right now I am living in an apartment and need to get a breed that won't bark and cry all day while I am at work. I know that is a tall order, but I thought I would at least start doing some research.

I really want a big dog...labs are my favorite, but I know what they are like as puppies! Does anyone have a suggestion? We have a local shelter here and I think I am going to go that route.

I just watched another incredible episode of the best tv show on the air, Extreme Makeover. Week after week this show enlightens me, it shows the good in people and it shows what can happen when people have the opportunity to help others.

Private Jessica Lynch, captured in Iraq and later rescued made many headlines on her journey back home. Tonight ABC's Extreme Makeover told the story of Jessica's good friend Lori Piestewa, who was killed in action. She left behind her parents and two young children, living a life in poverty on a Native American reservation. Jessica Lynch contacted the Extreme Makeover crew, who came to make the lives of this family better--to help construct a place where Lori's spirit would live on. They did just that.

Anyone who watched this show tonight had to leave feeling good about what can happen when the very best inside us all is brought out. Lori's ultimate sacrifice was giving her life to her country. Now, through the caring of Jessica Lynch and this wonderful tv program, her family can live a comfortable life, without the burden of debt and the worry that Lori's children won't have a place to live.

I wish there was more of this on television. I would like to see more reality tv where people are being helped, where lives are being made better. There is show much bad in this world. I am reminded each and every day how lucky I am to have what I have. I have made sacrifices in my life, but none of them compare to what so many other people give up each day.

I'd like to make an extreme makeover of my own life. I have to do more thinking about it--what I want to accomplish and how I will go about it. Right now I am inspired to be better and do better things. Maybe as I go along I will write about it. I just hope that everyone in my life knows that I love them dearly.

I think that is a great place to start.

My first Sunday New York Times came this morning and along with my Starbucks breakfast blend, Sunday morning has never looked better.

Big T-Storms in the area today--should be fun! I am also headed to Target to buy some Nacho chips. Target has this amazing selection of Nacho chips for some reason.

[b]Seven Minutes to Wapner President of the Day:[/b] Herbert Hoover.

Here are ten things off the top of my head that I like:





1. Fall Saturdays when college football is on. I can sit there and watch games from noon until midnight. There is nothing better. I like watching the Big Ten games and the SEC games at night.
2. Anything irish. I love Ireland.
3. Dirty Martinis. Ketel One vodka and a splash of olive juice.
4. My lighted Halloween village. Creepy Hollow. September cannot come soon enough.
5. Sundays. Give me pro football and some meat and I am happy.
6. Walking Trails with running creeks.
7. Seedless watermelon.
8. The innocence of youth.
9. Cincinnati
10. Family. Without family I do not know where I would be.

Today is sunny and 70. Is there anything better than that? No humidity at all--it's perfect. I am going to go out and enjoy it now because in about a month it is going to be 85-95 and humid as can be. I am not a huge fan of that.

Today I am getting my haircut, shopping for a carrying case for my portable DVD player and buying some more Starbucks breakfast blend coffee. I have to be honest--that stuff is worth the extra few bucks. I can drink it black and when I make it, I drink all of it. I have a 12 cup coffee pot, so I always make way too much. I probably down 2 full cups in the morning ever since I took myself off the Redbull diet.

Tonight I am headed to the local irish pub for some pints and music. I am really excited for that as this has been a tough week. I really need to just relax and enjoy myself. I hope everyone has a great Saturday!

What is everyone doing Sunday? I am playing golf....Talk to me....

[i]Recently I interviewed the ghost of Christopher Columbus. Yeah I am pretty sure it was him. He had on a fur coat and had one of those telescope thingies. At any rate, here is a transcript of our conversation...[/i]

[b]IR: Hi Christopher Columbus!![/b]
CC: Hey my main man irish! What's new mofo?

[b]IR: Can I call you CC?[/b]
CC: Baby, you can call me anything you want....oh wait, that made me sound homosexual....yeah CC is fine.

[b]IR: Um, yeah. Ok, which was your favorite ship? The Nina, Pinta or Santa Maria?[/b]
CC: Well, the Pinta has special memories for me because I got some major tail in the sleeping quarters on the way to the West Indies. I hate the Santa Maria because the wood smelled like an Iranian man after a day of beach volleyball. The Nina was cool because it had an air hockey table in the back...

[b]IR: Wait...you had air hockey in 1492?[/b]
CC: Um, why yes we did. I mean, there was no electricity and we had to have slaves inside of the table blowing air through a tube which made the rock (puck) slide around..but yeah we had it.

[b]IR: That's ridiculous. You used slaves for air hockey?[/b]
CC: Yeah. I feel kinda bad about that. They got their revenge though. One day they were smoking pot and they blew it through the air hockey table and got us all stoned. While we stumbled around they kicked our asses and took the Pinta on a joyride.

[b]IR: HAHAHA! Ok, so CC...is it true that you did not really discover America? I mean everyone knows Amerigo Vespucci did.[/b]
CC: Dude, Amerigo Vespucci was a fucking moron. He never came to America. He got the King of Spain drunk one night and full of Opium and dressed up like a ghost. Then he scared the shit out of the King and told him he was going to die unless he gave Amerigo Vespucci credit for discovering America. The next day he woke up and shit himself, then gave Vespucci credit. What a fucktard.

[b]IR: Did you know the capital of Ohio is named after you?[/b]
CC: YEAH BABY! Home of the OHIO STATE FUCKING BUCKEYES!!! w00t!

[b]IR: I am having difficulty with Christopher Columbus saying "w00t".[/b]
CC: Deal with it turd.

[b]IR: Whatever. Ok, so the American Indians...[/b]
CC: LOL...yeah can you say get an immune system?

[b]IR: THAT IS AWFUL! YOU GAVE THEM DISEASE AND TOOK THEIR LAND!!![/b]
CC: Oh....I suppose James Monroe just took a walk through the countryside and asked to borrow a cup of maize then?

[b]IR: Ok, good point.[/b]
CC: Don't mess with me irish. I am a testy explorer who hasn't had sex in over 450 years.

[b]IR: Wow. I had sex in 1997. It was fun.[/b]
CC: Not for her.

[b]IR: You really are an asshole.[/b]
CC: Yeah, pretty much...but I had sex in the Pinta!

[b]IR: lol...ok CC, we have to go for now, but thanks for your..."insight" on life and things like that.[/b]
CC: No problem irish. That's what I am here for. I may not have actually discovered America, but I sure as hell get a whole lot of credit for it!! LOL...That fucking rocks too. I never even touched American soil and you have a National holiday for me!! That's like giving Richard Simmons the award for Straight Male of the Year!! HAHAHA!!

[b]IR: wow.[/b]

Crystal balls are supposed to be able to show you glimpses of your future. You look into the crystal ball and see images that tell a tale of what will come. Actually, on the Wizard of Oz I think Dorothy looked into the ball of the Wicked Witch and saw the present...you know Auntie Em crying "Oh..Dorothyyyy!". Ok, so that kind of ruins my future theory, but ok....crystal balls show you things.

Now, I think all of us have a crystal ball inside our heads that we think will show us what the future lies. It's called hope. Hope springs eternal in the crystal ball inside our head. We see the degree we want to attain, money, cars, potential mates....and on that subject, how many times have I invisioned Ashley Judd making muffins in my kitchen wearing nothing but an apron....

I digress...this ball inside our minds is such a powerful tool. It makes do such incredible things. Hope is a powerful thing. Very powerful. My question to all of you is...is hope always good? What if hope clouds your judgement? What if, like the Tinman, Scarecrow, Lion and Dorothy, we are walking through (or skipping) a field of poppies and we are overcome with the scent of hope? We become delirious and fall asleep and stop thinking clearly?

Their hope was to see the Wizard of Oz. The great and powerful Wizard. They skipped down the yellow brick road singing and dancing...Tinman wanted a heart, Lion wanted courage, Scarecrow wanted a brain and Dorothy wanted to get laid...I mean...she wanted to get back to Kansas. They envisioned this grand future...the heart would make the tinman love, the courage would make the lion roar louder, the brain would make the scarecrow realize that his job really sucked. I mean...who wants to be a scarecrow? He really needed that brain.

Hope leads us all down a yellow brick road. We see this vision in our crystal ball and we start skipping like lunatics through the poppies. Is this the right way to go about life? I used to think so. I used to think that if we wanted something bad enough, with a lot of hard work and a little luck I would get to see the Wizard of Oz.

Now I am not so sure. Maybe I have become hardened to the fact that people are hard to get a handle on. Do you ever really know someone? Maybe it's enough to just let things play out and see where it goes. Maybe looking into a crystal ball cancels out fate itself. Maybe, just maybe you just have to let it happen and quit thinking about where the yellow brick road COULD take you.

Life afterall is a day to day progression. I am convinced you have to live one day at a time and the crystal ball be damned. It never works. You see the future you envision and all it does is disappoint you when you find out it isn't going to happen. Life isn't a movie. There are no technicolor fantasy lands like Oz with emerald hues as far as the eye can see.

In the end, the tinman, scarecrow and lion found out what we all know deep in our hearts. We have courage, wisdom and love inside of us already. We don't need to skip down the yellow brick road and look through a crystal ball hoping for something that may never happen. In essence, it's already inside of us. For some, it comes in a different kind of form. I guess you just have to find your way to the people who best embody the things you look for.

Then you can skip down the yellow brick road.

[i]Recently I had a conversation with a small intestine. The following is a transcript of our conversation...[/i]


[b]IR: Hi Small Intenstine! Welcome![/b]
SI: Hello irish. This is my first interview ever.

[b]IR: I can imagine! I was thinking that I may be the first person to ever interview a small intestine. That excites me to no end![/b]
SI: That's swell irish. Ok ask me questions.

[b]IR: Ok, well tell us a little about yourself.[/b]
SI: Well irish, By the time ingesta reaches the small intestine, foodstuffs have been mechanically broken down and reduced to a liquid by mastication and grinding in the stomach. Once within the small intestine, these macromolecular aggregates are exposed to pancreatic enzymes and bile, which enables digestion to molecules capable or almost capable of being absorbed. The final stages of digestion occur on the surface of the small intestinal epithelium.

[b]IR: Dude, seriously...if you are going to get all scientific on me I will kick your ass. Don't even start talking about bile.[/b]
SI: Oops, sorry irish.

[b]IR: Do you ever get in fights with the large intestine? Someone told me once that the big dipper and the little dipper go at it all the time. I figured the same thing happened with you two.[/b]
SI: The large intestine and I never fight. We need each other like Sonny needed Cher.

[b]IR: You know, Sonny died while skiing. He rammed into a tree[/b].
SI: LOL....dumbass.

[b]IR: No doubt! Ok, be honest...can you see farts coming?[/b]
SI: Actually, I can determine how effective a good fart will be. Once I saved up a real good one and just as we sat down for a really important business dinner, I let it loose and everyone at the table looked around like they had never heard a fart before.

[b]IR: Classic! What is your favorite thing about being a small intestine?[/b]
SI: Well, no one really blames me for much. I mean, the heart takes a lot of shit and the stomach has to endure all that pepto bismol. I just kind of go unnoticed, which is fine with me.

[b]IR: What do you think of Paris Hilton?[/b]
SI: I wish someone would pour bile all over that little weiner dog of hers.

[b]IR: Now THAT is an excellent use of the word bile.[/b]
SI: Thank you, thank you.

[b]IR: Do you think that the Supreme Court is too conservative?[/b]
SI: No, not really. I mean, I think at the end of the day we all have to put partisan politics aside and do what is right for the country.

[b]IR: Wow. for an organ you sure are smart.[/b]
SI: Yeah, I do alright for myself.

[b]IR: What do you think of sushi?[/b]
SI: Sushi is a bitch to digest.

[b]IR: Cantaloupe?[/b]
SI: hehe....better have a lot of TP *wink*

[b]IR: Pork Tenderloin?[/b]
SI: Ok, irish this is really getting stupid.

[b]IR: Yeah, I agree. Thanks so much for taking time to talk to me small intestine!![/b]
SI: No problem irish! I have to go now...I feel some gas coming on....

[b]IR: EW! That smelled awful!! Get the hell out of here![/b]

Has anyone ever seen the musical "Evita"? Just curious. I love musicals. I have been in about 15 of them. Each time I have been in one, I have always enjoyed it. Anyway, I have never seen the musical Evita. I have the CD (and believe it or not I am straight), but I have never seen it. Where am I going with this? Damn if I have no idea.

Today was a beautiful day here in Ohio. The temp was cool and crisp, the sun shining and the flowers....anyway...it was a nice day. I have started a new and improved routine in the mornings (just two days old, but still...). I wake up a little earlier and I drink a cup of coffee on my porch. I do this for about 15 minutes and I am using this time to reflect and think about my family and the upcoming day. So far, this has been a nice start to the day.

Before I just slept until the very last moment possible, got up and rushed out. Bad idea. It starts the day off on a bad foot. Don't do it folks! A few extra snooze bars does not a good night sleep make. Take it from a career insomniac.....

Reflection is a good thing. The days go by so fast and important people in your life sometimes go unnoticed. I like taking a few minutes each day to think of them and to smile. I am truly blessed.

[b]To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals - that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him.[/b]

- Honore De Balzac

**Check out hard to imagine's blog (click the link on the left side) She has a great post today about the influx of porn and drug blogs on this site. T BLOG IS TURNING INTO A PORN SITE! (I like that actually, but still!)

[i] Billy Joel, one of my all time favorites is not known for his wondrous lyrics, but this is one I love. I have been playing this CD (River of Dreams) in my car the past few days. Ever get stuck on a single CD? Me too :)[/i]
[b]Two Thousand Years
River Of Dreams Released: 1993
Billy Joel[/b]




In the beginning
There was the cold and the night
Prophets and angels gave us the fire and the light
Man was triumphant
Armed with the faith and the will
That even the darkest ages couldn't kill

Too many kingdoms
Too many flags on the field
So many battles, so many wounds to be healed
Time is relentless
Only true love perseveres
It's been a long time and now I'm with you
After two thousand years

This is our moment
Here at the crossroads of time
We hope our children carry our dreams down the line
They are the vintage
What kind of life will they live?
Is this a curse or a blessing that we give?

Sometimes I wonder
Why are we so blind to fate?
Without compassion, there can be no end to hate
No end to sorrow
Caused by the same endless fears
Why can't we learn from all we've been through
After two thousand years?

There will be miracles
After the last war is won
Science and poetry rule in the new world to come
Prophets and angels
Gave us the power to see
What an amazing future there will be
And in the evening
After the fire and the light
One thing is certain: nothing can hold back the night
Time is relentless
And as the past disappears
We're on the verge of all things new
We are two thousand years

Not me.

Off to make my blackened salmon and watch the last Everybody Loves Raymond.....

[b]Where the Sidewalk Ends[/b]



There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein

John Mellancamp has always been one of my favorite artists. I grew up with songs like Small town, Pink Houses and Jack and Diane. I have seen JM in concert four times and each one rocked. The title of my post is a song of his from the album Human Wheels. I have been jamming his Greatest Hits cd in my car every day lately. (I go through spurts with JM). Anyway, this is a song I love.

If you like Mellancamp you must get the CD Mr. Happy go Lucky. It is without a doubt his finest CD. The music is fantastic and probably his best collection of lyrics. One song that I really like a lot is titled "Mr. Bellows". If you download music and you like JM, I recommend this song.

I honestly had no intention of blogging about John Mellancamp tonight. But, as always, I never know what I am going to blog about until I start typing. I wanted to write something deep and noteworthy, but for now, I suppose a review of one of my favorite performers will have to do the trick.

Incidentally, before I go....there are some kick ass blogs on this site. I went through a few of my links today and I just sit here and say "wow." Keep it up everyone...you bring me a lot of joy each day. Some bloggers don't even know I go there each day. I don't always comment, but the read itself is educational, sometimes humorous and always worth while. Thanks for that.

Be well.

[i](This is a repeat/recreation of an interview I did before. I erased my whole blog a month ago and well...yeah. Anyway, enjoy this golden oldie/re-mix of a conversation I had with The Raven...)[/i]

[b]IR: Hello The Raven!! Welcome to my blog![/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: Ok...so, how are things with Edgar Allen Poe? Will you ever come back in another story of his?[/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: Ok..how do you feel about surging gas prices? Will you continue to drive to work?[/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: Is that all you can fucking say "nevermore?"[/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: GOD!! Shut up! Who the hell scheduled this interview? All he says is one fucking word![/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: Ok smart ass...will you ever get laid again?[/b]
TR: I am a fucking bird, dumbass.

[b]IR: Real funny. Will George W. Bush ever say anything intelligent?[/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: Will the South ever win another Civil War re-creation?[/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: Will Ohio State ever lose another football game?[/b]
TR: nevermore.

[b]IR: This is fun....will Lauren Graham from The Gilmore Girls go out with me?[/b]
TR: No fucking chance.

[b]IR: Selective nevermore's I see. Well, this has been one hell of an interview. Maybe we can do it again when you learn more than one word.[/b]
TR: nevermore.

IR: yeah. neverfuckingmore.

[b]Libra[/b]
If you're still thinking about travel, today's astrological lineup will make it just about impossible for you to resist any longer. Make the decision. You don't even have to decide exactly where you're going -- not just yet. All you really have to do, at this point, is inform the powers that be that you'll need some time off. Once that's done, it will make the situation real and put you in the mood to choose your destination. Oh, go ahead.

[b]"Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself, if you wish to get others."[/b]

- David Seabury

I wish I could explain my behavior toward someone I care about very much. Is it fear? Is it uncertainty? Distance? Do I miss this person so much that it makes me angry? What the holy fuck is going on with me?

I would have stopped talking to me long ago.


It's a new day though.

Here is an interesting article....




BARROW, Alaska (AP) -- Say goodbye to darkness -- at least for a while.

When the sun rose Tuesday over the continent's northernmost community, it began a nearly three month stay. The last sunset of the season occurred at 1:50 a.m. Tuesday and the sun rose again at 2:56 a.m.

"Then it will stay above the horizon until August 2, when the first sunset will take place," said Gina Sturm of the National Weather Service office in Barrow.

Barrow is about 330 miles above the Arctic Circle. In winter, the sun sets in mid-November and the region is dark until late January.

Many in this town of about 4,500 welcome the transition to the midnight sun.

"It's almost like coming out of hibernation," resident Diane Martin said. "It brings us back to getting out and about."

Ron Boynton, who's been in Barrow 23 years, has had to figure out how to get enough sleep during the unrelenting daylight.

"So we all learn to adapt during the years, and each develop our own little tricks," he said.

"Put foil on your bedroom windows, etcetera, but then if you have to get up during the night to go to the bathroom or something ... you get the full sunlight coming in, and it can be hard to get back to sleep.

[b]"The world of achievement has always belonged to the optimist."[/b]

- J. Harold Wilkins

[b]"Man's greatest actions are performed in minor struggles. Life, misfortune, isolation, abandonment and poverty are battlefields which have their heroes - obscure heroes who are at times greater than illustrious heroes."[/b]

- Victor Hugo

All of us have pet peeves. I have a few of my own. I hate recycled Christmas gifts, being invited to weddings of people I don't know (avid readers of seven minutes know how I go on and on about that) and I hate it when I get pickle juice on my hands. My number one pet peave is a concept that far too many people cannot grasp. Hearing vs. Listening.



[b]Hearing:(verb): To perceive sound by means of an ear. Having the capacity to hear.[/b]

[b]Listening:(verb):To make an effort to hear; give ear. To pay attention, as to warning or advice or conversation; to heed.[/b]

People are great at hearing things. I was in a large auditorium today listening to a speech and thought to myself, if I cut a huge fart right now, everyone would hear it.

My biggest pet peeve is when people hear but don't listen. It drives me insane. I find that I have to speak in shorter sentences, say less and keep things to myself more because the people around around me are great at hearing but not listening. This is sad. I have a lot to say too. I think this may be why I like to blog so much. When you come to read my posts, it's up to you whether or not you want to read or skim. When I blog, I can say everything I want to say and let it all out. Nobody has to listen to me, and they can come and go as they please.

It's different though in conversation. I sometimes wish people wouldn't ask me things because I know that there is little chance what I am about to say will be listened to. They will hear me though. It's cynical, I know but this is what I have become--cynical at times about the art of conversation.

People who listen set the bar high for their own conversations. It's a fact. I listen. I think that I have developed a rather strong defense mechanism now when I converse with others. I sense I am not being listened to, and I back off. I hang up on them so to speak. I will talk about general things like the weather or this and that, but I won't share what I am thinking if I don't feel someone is listening.

So, this is my number one pet peeve. I want people to listen. I am really good at it, or at least I try my hardest. It's a tall order these days to get others to do more than just hear. I fear our society has become comfortable with the capacity to hear sound. I hope someday we can get back to listening to it.

[b]GRIT PRICES SKYROCKET; SOUTH CAROLINA THREATENS SECESSION.[/b]

Columbia (SC) The price of grits rose to a remarkable $45 a barrel today, causing SC lawmakers to consider yet another threat to secede from the United States of America.

"Look, we don't want to continually be the black sheep of the US, but if people are going to push us around and raise the price of grits beyond what we feel is fair to our citizenry, we can and will leave the Union", said state representative Elmer Bob Johnson.

If SC does leave America, they will change their currency to wampum and make bartering the main form of purchase power. Not since the days of Daniel Boone has a state threatened to completely change its economy like this.

"We feel bartering with wampum is the closest thing the our current way of buying and selling", said Johnson. "We must revert back the olden days to reclaim our once proud heritage. If grits is the final straw, then so be it."

[b]MEXICO ANNOUNCES NEW "ROJO DE OCTOBRE" HOLIDAY.[/b]

Mexico (AP) Mexico, capitalizing on the growing popularity of Cinco de Mayo, has announced a new holiday called "Red in October." Cinco de Mayo fever has spread so far across the world and now the citizens of Mexico hope this will too.

"Listen senor...we have this holiday that basically celebrates a day. One fucking day. May 5th. YAY, it's May fucking fifth everyone! Whoop-die do freaking dah. But people like it--in fact, they come to Mexico by the truckload and drink our piss water beer and buy our sombreros. We figured, well, if people will get excited because it's May fucking 5th, why not get them excited about a color in October?" , said Minister of Worthless Holidays in Mexico, Senor Roberto.

"Rojo de Octobre will celebrate the color red. That's really about it to be honest. It celebrates red, and October. Yeah, just basically, red.", said director of tourism Juan Valderama.

Future holidays on the horizon include, Cinco de Mayo II, a celebration of Mayonnaise on May 5th. Quatro de Mayo, or Cinco de Mayo Eve and finally, El gato negro, a countrywide celebration of this black cat with a real bushy tail, found on the highway last week.

[b]FOUR FINGERED MAN FINDS FINGER IN CAN OF DINTY MOORE BEEF STEW.[/b]
[i]Says "I enjoyed the stew, but I am still suing because it's just plain gross."[/i]


(Knoxville AP) A man who claims he opened a can of Dinty Moore beef stew and found a finger is suing the company for $123,878 and four cents. "I was disgusted by this", said the unidentified man who ironically had just four fingers on his left hand and what appeared to be a fresh bandage with blood on it.

When asked if he cut his own finger off in order to find a way to make $123,878 and four cents (the amount he owes in back child support), he said "Um, no." Local authorities are skeptical of this event and are treating it as a "case under suspicion"

"Hey dawg, I didn't make this shit up. I opened this can and I saw a man's finger right there in the can, man! Don't be thinking I cut of a finger from the hand I use to whack off with."

This is just one of a rash of newly found fingers in food products during the last few weeks.

[b]"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."[/b]

- Agatha Christie

Let me first start by defining what the word "home" means for this post. Home, to me is not a house, it's a place that is made a home. A house is an object you live in. Home can be a city, a town, a state--anywhere where your heart is. Home can be the place that taught you the most, gave the most life experience or the place liked living the best.


That said, I have lived in Ohio all my life with a few exceptions. Probably....26 of my 33 years. Anyway, when I lived in Boston, people would ask where my home was. I would always say "I live in Boston, but my home is in Ohio. (I never mentioned my hometown in Ohio because nobody has ever heard of it, so I just say Ohio.) I loved living in Boston, I loved the city so much--but it wasn't my home.

Knoxville, New York City...same thing. I lived there but it wasn't my home. Home then was mom's house back in Toledo, or dad's. That was home to me. Holidays--going home to see the family. After they were over, I would go back to the place where I lived.

I guess I have always considered Ohio my home. It is my current home state, I was born here and I love everything about it. I live for the Buckeyes and the Cincinnati sports teams. Most of my family is here, which doesn't mean I have to stay here--I have always traveled back home no matter where I lived.

My hometown isn't really my hometown anymore because although I grew up there for 18 years and lived there another three, I only go back to see my mom and the city has changed so much I hardly recognize it anymore. So, it's more of a birthplace than a hometown. As a kid growing up, I had a special place in my heart for Cincinnati. Dad, Nick and I used to come down from Toledo each year to see a Reds series and I just always knew I would live there someday.

A few years ago, I moved there from Boston and the transition was so easy. Cincinnati felt like home. I had lost my hometown (in my mind), and I really didn't have a set home or home base so to speak. Cincinnati became my adopted home, and it has been ever since.
So, when people have asked "where is home?" I always said Cincinnati is my home, but _______ is where I live.

Today, a very nice older gentleman was washing his hands next to me at the Tennessee visitors center and he asked where I was coming from and I said blah blah. And he said "nice place." Then he asked "So young man, where is home?". I thought for a split second. I thought about how your home should be where your heart is. That's the difference between your home, and "where you live".

I looked at the man and smiled....

"My home? Home is.... I live in Cincinnati."

Mother's Day is this Sunday......


Dear Mom,

When you were 24 years old you had a child and your life started. Dad went to work as an electrician, and you stayed home and started a career of your own, raising me. Now, some may not think of that as a job or a career. I disagree. You taught me how to read you made me hot cereal and you taught me how to tie my shoes. You stood there and watched me get on the bus and waved goodbye to me. It embarrassed me then-- today it makes me tear up.

When I was a baby I cried a lot. You didn't shake me, hit me, yell at me...you loved me. You gave me a toy, you sang me a song, you showered me with affection. You told me not to go near the street, you made me wear my coat and you turned the night light on for me before I went to bed. When I was thirsty you put juice in my tippy cup.

You kept a journal and in it you wrote my every move. When I spoke, crawled and walked for the first time. You bronzed my baby shoes, saved a lock of my hair and chronicled my early days with pictures. You gave me a bath and you took my temperature. (Orally and I love you for that.) You developed my vocabulary, taught me manners and showed me every day that I was loved.

When I was 12 you told me that you and dad were getting a divorce. You had to go to work full-time and I know now how scared you were. You started out as a teller at a bank and worked your way up the ladder. You got up before Nick and I went to school and came home at seven each night. You worked 12 hour days and sometimes brought work home. You raised two teenage boys and at night, you would come home and sit in your bed and read your book.

I know life was lonely for you then. I know that you sacrificed more than I could ever imagine. When you found a date, I made it tough. I love my dad. When I wanted to party and drink with my friends, I did it no matter what you said. I know you know I did it anyway. You didn't shake me, you didn't yell at me and you didn't hit me or kick me out. You loved me. You let me explore the world on my own. Maybe you were too tired--you worked so hard. You never gave up on me.

Last year you bought me an Easter basket and you hid it. I was 32. I told you to stop--I told you I was 32. The fact is, I wanted to find the Easter basket and I loved you for hiding it. Six weeks ago your new husband of eight years got mad at you and he yelled really loud. It shook you up. I had to drag it out of you but I found out how upset it made you. I paid him a visit two days later at work. He won't raise his voice again.

You are, in a nutshell the eighth wonder of the world in my eyes. You have taught me well. You showed me what family means, what holidays mean, what sacrifice is. This Sunday the calender says I should buy you flowers and send you card. It is your designated day of the year and the day when I am supposed to acknowledge all you have done. All I have to say is this...

Every day is mother's day. I am thankful for you each and every day and I will be for the rest of my life. When you get this in the mail and you read it I want you to know this--you raised a grateful son.

I love you.

Craig.

Today at work I had an appointment with a parent. She came in and sat down and started asking questions about funding for her daughter. The appointment started well, and I had no reason to think it would end otherwise.


Mom started to cry. Now, this isn't irregular because when it comes to affording college, students and parents get emotional. In fact, the more they do, the more I can see just how much they care. It wasn't until I found out why she was crying that my heart sunk to my feet.

Mom has been recently diagnosed with MS. The MS is just now starting to take effect, meaning she has about 6 months, maybe less to be able to drive to my office, walk and make it to the chair without help.

So we discussed the special circumstance and what could be done. I could see the hurt in her eyes. I know that they once had a plan together to afford school and that had changed. I could see she hated this more than anything. She hated explaining it, and I hated hearing. I looked at her and said stop. Let's just stop. I will tell you what can be done just before you go. For now, let's just talk.

I told her that I didn't need a sell job to know there was a special circumstance. I didn't need for to her to relive all of this with me in my office. I just wanted her to know that things would be ok with her daughters education. We talked for a bit, and she told me she felt powerless because she was going to play such an active role. She was going to work more and help pay, and be able to promise her daughter that she could go to school.
I told her she was playing an active role right now. She was there. She was laying her life on the table to help her daughter get to school. That is huge. That is more than commendable. And I told her to go home tonight and tell her daughter to start packing. I didn't help because of the situation or because I felt bad...I helped because I knew I could before she even started talking.

As she left, she walked up a staircase to get to another office. She struggled badly. She fought with each step to walk to the next one. I wondered right there and I watched how much walking...just walking meant to her right now. I saw this skinny, tiny woman fight her ass off to walk. My list of 500 things pissing me off right now went to zero in about 30 seconds.

I am not grateful everyday that I can do the little things like walking. I know I should be, but I am like most--I forget. Then on occasion I am reminded just how much life is a gift, and some people have to fight for it a hell of a lot more than I do. I admire them and thank them for reminding me how important life is...how important walking is.

walking.

[b]"Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much."[/b]

- Erastus Wiman

Recently, I had a conversation with Silent but Deadly. The following is a transcript of our conversation....


[b]IR: Hi Silent but Deadly! Welcome to Seven Minutes to Wapner![/b]
SBD: Thanks irish....smell anything yet?

[b]IR: Yes, and I see you blamed it on me too.[/b]
SBD: As always, irish :)

[b]IR: You are a menace to society Silent but Deadly. I mean, on a bus, you can create quite a stir![/b]
SBD: Irish, you have no idea! Last week, in Boston, I was on the T and worked my magic. Some old lady cut one and looked at the guy next to her as if he was the culprit. I just laughed. I smelled so bad that day! Anyway, a huge argument followed and the lady belted the guy with her grocery bag right across the chops!

[b]IR: You are a bitch! I love it! I have a secret I need to tell. Sometimes I secretly wish that when people farted it would emit this blue color so that we could see how much gas was in the air. I think people would freak![/b]
SBD: Irish, when you are in a room with a bunch of people, you would be amazed at how much people cut farts. It's ridiculous. It's a shame we cannot harness all that gas and make it into energy to light buildings!

[b]IR: I had a burrito last week....let's just say I could have powered the Hoover Dam![/b]
SBD: I bet those weren't silent either!

[b]IR: Nope! SBD, let me ask you this...what makes you silent? I mean...when I think of a good fart I think of resonance, odor and reaction. But SBD's seem to illicit some amazing responses. What is a good fart to you?[/b]
SBD: Well irish, a good fart lessens the pressure on a person's colon, makes them feel better about themselves and generates ill-will around them. If you can accomplish both of those things, you have cut a good one.

[b]IR: Do you ever feel like society looks down on you?[/b]
SBD: Oh, quite the opposite my friend. People think I am great! I mean, last night in Walla Walla, Washington, a guy let a SBD in bed under the covers and his wife gagged so hard she had to get up. They laughed and laughed. I bring joy to people. They needed that laugh because he has erectile dysfunction and well, they haven't had much to cheer about lately.

[b]IR: That is just great! A good laugh may be the erection they both needed![/b]
SBD: I am a marvel, let's leave it at that!

[b]IR: SBD, this has been great! I hope to see more of you in the near future![/b]
SBD: Don't you mean smell more of me? LOL.

[b]IR: Yeah I guess.[/b]
SBD: irish....did you just...ew.