In Sunshine or in Shadow

The other night, I was watching the movie, "Trading Places". A classic 1980's movie with Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd. Toward the end of the film, an actor by the name of Al Franken was in a scene. His role--a dumb, drunken cargo man in charge of this gorilla who was apparently being shipped to Africa. My better half said, "that guy is a total goofball". "He looks like a goofball, he acts like a goofball." My reply--"That goofball in the United States Senate, representing Minnesota as we speak." *This post is sponsored by the state that brought you Jesse the Body Ventura*

It's a planet, damnit. We gave a holiday to Christopher Columbus. Canadians have Boxing Day...so it's a little smallas planets go, but come on. They taught me in school to love little Pluto. (They also taught me to love Uranus too, but that's another post.) Give the little guy a break and make Pluto part of the Big 8 again. Ok, honestly, who cares. Many more important things to think and talk about.

So I am at the grocery store in Portland and I am getting ready to throw yet another luxury item in my cart--I think it was some smoked salmon...when I see this guy looking at some food....
He was standing there...shaking and barely able to stand up from hunger. What really got to me was that he was counting the change in his hand. I stood there and watched for a second--maybe ten..and realized that he was counting dimes and pennies to see if he could buy some food.
Life is a fickle bitch.
I fought back tears. I hate watching people struggle. This guy could have been in the alcohol section, but he wasn't. He was looking for food to survive. People shouldn't have to do that...not in America. I had two choices...walk away and add to my cart full of food, or do something good. I chose the latter.
His name was Gary. I asked him if he was counting his change to buy food and he said yes. He told he me hadn't eaten in 2 days. He said he was there to steal food if he had to, but he couldn't stoop so low. I started to tear up. I handed him ten dollars and said....go get some food Gary...at the restaurant in the grocery...meet me at the front in 30 minutes and we will get you stocked up. He reluctantly agreed.....the man needed something.
I got all the essentials and some soap. Gary needed soap. He knew it...I knew it...he didn't have soap. When I got to the counter Gary walked up to me and had tears in his eyes. All he could say was "god bless you". I just wanted him to survive.
I drove him back to his "place" which to be honest was nothing any of us would consider home. You don't know what you have until you meet a guy like Gary. I told him that I wanted him to meet me back at the same place next week at the same time. He started to cry. I asked him if life had dealt him a tough hand and he said, "You have no idea. It's hard to get work when you are too weak from hunger." I have many faults. I am an ass, I hate people telling me what to do and I am quite selfish. 90 percent of the time I let my penis rule my thinking which has made me the guy I am today. I swear a lot, drink like a fish and think MLK Day is stupid.
Despite my many faults, I have a heart that breaks when I see others suffer. I forget who I am as a person for that moment and for some reason, do what is right by humanity. I have so much to be thankful for and I take it for granted. I always have. I've counted change before...but never to eat.
There are many Gary's in this world. We just have to open our eyes and seem them. Tonight he is eating food and gaining strength. I am sitting here worried about this and that...but my belly is full and tomorrow it will be again. On Thanksgiving Day I will be with my family eating a turkey dinner and drinking wine. Where will the Gary's of the world be?
Each and every day we have a chance to make our mark. I happened to be at the right place at the right time. Does it make me an extraordinary person? Not in the least. I just thank God for bringing Gary into my life...even for one brief moment. I hope I have another chance to do right for this world.... C

I may come back, I don't know. I haven't been blogging much at all and I miss it. We'll see. I was glad to see T-blog is still around and many of the people I used to converse with are also still here. I do need a new theme though...my page looks icky. I can't believe I just said icky.

The greatest college football team (The Ohio State Buckeyes), will take on the Florida Gators for the National Championship on January 8, 2007.  Florida should give us a good game for the first few minutes, and then we will roll on to a 13-0 record and the National Title.

Ohio State owns the Fiesta Bowl, which will host the National Championship game this year.  They won in 2002 (The National Championship), again in 2003 and last year when they systematically destroyed Notre Dame. 

I should take a moment to congratulate Michigan on their Rose Bowl birth.  I hope you enjoy your game with USC. 

Columbus, Ohio is the Capital of college football and The Ohio State Buckeyes are rolling once again!! 

This just kills me...why are people so fucking moronic?  You are sitting there watching a football game (a lousy one at that Clemson vs. South Carolina), and you get in an argument over $20.  What do you do?  Go get your hunting rifle and shoot your friend.  He dies.  Nice day.

Enjoy jail asshole.  I hope it was worth it.  What a lunatic.

Isn't America such a wonderful place to live?

 

To all my friends on t blog, and those I have yet to meet, I wish you and yours the very best of Thanksgivings this year.

Take time to appreciate what you have...I know I will.

Recently I sat down with John Doe and conducted an interview. The following is a transcript of our conversation..


IR: Welcome John Doe!!
JD: Hi irish, thank you for having me.

IR: John, are you related to Jane Doe or is it just happenstance that you have the same last name?

JD: Jane got her name when she was adpoted by a large pack of deer and raised in the wilderness.

IR: WOW! That is really cool! Really?
JD: No stupid, she is my sister...what a goof!

IR: Oh ok...you got me there John Doe! John, let me ask you this. You are basically the unknown male in America...how does that feel?
JD: Well, it feels weird....you know being the guy no one really knows or can identify with. It can be really lonely.

IR: You take many forms--I mean you can be a dead body...
JD: I like being a dead body...that's fun...well, until the autopsy.

IR: When you go to parties and wear the "Hello my name is John Doe" sticker, do people laugh and think you are being a wise ass?
JD: LOL...yeah that happens a lot. When I show them my drivers license they about crap their drawers.

IR: Where did the name "Doe" come from? It's a little lame don't you think?
JD: Are you making fun of my family name, smart ass?

IR: Ok, sorry. John, tell me this...have you ever started out as John Doe and then later ended up with your old name?
JD: Oh yes! Once I got amnesia and took a bus to California and was just roaming the streets. I got picked up by the cops and they called me John Doe. A few months later I got my memory back and found out my name was really Melvin Smilovitz from Boca Raton, Florida. What a fucking bummer that was. I had to start eating Mahtzoh ball soup again and playing canasta at the Shady Pines retirement home with my wife Sheila.

IR: Ouch. Do you watch television? If so, what are some of your favorite shows?
JD: I love cold case, and CSI. My favorite show though is The Price is Right. Bob Barker is my hero.

IR: Ok, now that is really lame.
JD: BOB BARKER IS AN AMERICAN ICON!

IR: Yeah......yeah. So, John...who is better at the game Concentration...you or Jane?
JD: That's real funny. You know damn well neither of us can remember what we just saw or identify objects. That was a low blow.

IR: lol...sorry John Doe. I couldn't help it....it was like handing a color blind person a lemon starburst when they asked for a cherry.
JD: You are going to hell, I hope you know that.

IR: LOL....already have the ticket purchased, bigboy.
JD: I hope they stuck you in coach.

IR: Oh, before we go...do you know Tom, Dick and Harry? It seems like every one of them is the same.
JD: I know Tom and Harry from grade school and I am pretty sure I just met the Dick today during this interview!

IR: wow...you are bitter John Doe.
JD: Sorry irish...gotta run...I just got a call...I guess some dude bumped his head and can't remember his name. Looks like it's John Doe time. The only thing that sucks is, he also forgot how to have sex...this is going to suck...

I like quarters--they are fun to collect and fun to put in jars. You forget about them and then in a year you find you have all this extra money.

It's like a bank account...without the bank, tellers, interest, front door to the bank, vault, security guards, deposit slips, free plastic piggy banks, FDIC sticker on the front window and security cameras.

I used to get all excited about collecting state quarters. Now I just throw the quarters in a big jar and if they have a state on them, big whoopie. I sitll think all southern quarters should say "Second Place, Civil War". That would be fun.

Before I go, I noticed today that I have so many staples in my desk, that if we ever do go to war with the south again and we have a bullet shortage, I will have plenty of staples to melt so I can go out and "git me a redneck".

 I kid around, but I really hope we don't go to war with the south again. 

WE WIN

The number one Ohio State Buckeyes are going to the National Championship Game

OHIO STATE 42 Michigan 39

What a GREAT game by both teams.

 

There is nothing like the Ohio State vs. Michigan game in college football.  For the fans of both teams it rivals Christmas Day or Thanksgiving.  It is a rite of passage, it is the greatest single game of the year.  It doesn't matter what the records are going into the game.  This game is huge.  Last year, ESPN conducted a poll during the month of November, asking the Nation what the greatest rivalry in college football was.  50% of the people who voted chose the "Big Game".  No other rivalry--not Army/Navy, Auburn/Alabama, Texas/Oklahoma came anywhere close.

It's quite simply, the pinnacle of football rivalries.

This year, 2 teams filled with wide-eyed college athletes have transformed this game out of the stratosphere.  Both teams are 11-0 and number 1 and 2 in the country.  The winner not only has bragging rights for another year, but they will go to the National Championship game.  This year, the game is magical.  It is a dream game that generations of fans in both states will remember and talk about for the rest of their lives. 

As if God himself wrote the script, we get to enjoy the show.  Normally, I live and die by the outcome of this game.  I talk smack, I make a huge deal of it.  (It's easy to do when you have won 4 of the last 5 games).  This year I will not.  These kids have made this particular game one we will never forget.  No matter the outcome, I will be happy for the winner.  Yes, I will be disappointed in Ohio State loses a chance for the championship game, but this year, I am going to enjoy this once in a lifetime event.  These kids are giving us this chance.  Let's relish in it and be proud of both teams.  This will likely never happen again in our lifetime--but we will talk about it for the rest of our days. 

This Saturday is what college football is all about.  It's about 2 rivals going at it for the outright Big Ten title as they have done so many times.  It's about going to play for the National Championship, and it's about bragging rights for another 364 days.  It's Bo and Woody, Jim and Lloyd.  It's a a group of young men who have made this one special year.  I wish them both well.

Yankees vs. Red Sox, Packers vs. Bears, Celtics vs. Lakers....all great rivalries...I'll take Michigan vs. Ohio State any day and twice on Sunday.  Get ready for the greatest rivalry in college sports.

May the best team win.

Saturday, November 18th at 3:30  The Game of the Century

Columbus, Ohio--The Capital of College Football

#1 Ohio State vs #2 Michigan

The Greatest Rivalry in sports just got EVEN BIGGER!!!

Buckeye Week kicks off today!!  GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Sarah Brightman

I remember sky
It was blue as ink
Or at least I think
I remember sky.

I remember snow
Soft as feathers
Sharp as thumb tacks
Coming down like lint
And it made you squint
When the wind would blow.

And ice like vinyl
On the streets
Cold as silver
White as sheets
Rain like strings
And changing things
Like leaves.

I remember leaves
Green as spearmint
Crisp as paper.
I remember trees
Bare as coat racks
Spread like broken umbrellas.

And parks and bridges,
Ponds and zoos,
Ruddy faces,
Muddy shoes,
Light and noise and
Bees and boys
And days.

I remember days,
Or at least I try.
But as years go by
They’re sort of haze,
And the bluest ink
Isn’t really sky
And at times I think
I would gladly die
For a day of sky.

War

When a child, certain skies sharpened my vision: all their characters were reflected in my face. The Phenomena were roused.-- At present, the eternal inflection of moments and the infinity of mathematics drives me through this world where I meet with every civil honor, respected by strange children and prodigious affections.-- I dream of a War of right and of might, of unlooked-for logic. It is as simple as a musical phrase.

Arthur Rimbaud

So, you get into an argument with your brother over a girlfriend. You want to get back at him and really make him feel bad. What do you do? Do you punch him in the nose? Tackle him and give him a wedgie? Kick him in the balls? No. Apparently, you rape your mother. An Alabama teenager confessed today to forceably raping his 45 year old mother to get back at his brother over an argument they had about a girl. Amazing. This is the country we live in.

St.Louis, Detroit, Flint (Mich.) and Compton, CA., in that order, are the top crime cities in America based on 2005 statistics.

"I'm still on the right side of the ground."

My grandfather said this when I asked how he was this weekend.  I liked it.

I showed this clip to my wife...hehe....

If it isn't 14 year old brothers killing each other over a piece of gum, or a disgruntled teen driving her car into another innocent driver (mother of three), or men killing their entire families because they hate their wives (or vice versa), it's this... EAST ST. LOUIS, Illinois (AP) -- A couple accused of kidnapping the woman's 9-month-old son from a social worker who was later found dead will face murder charges when they return to Kentucky. Murder warrants were issued Friday for Renee Terrell and her boyfriend, Christopher Wayne Luttrell. They already had been charged with fleeing Kentucky to avoid prosecution, a crime punishable by up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine. Terrell, 33, and Luttrell, 23, are suspected in the death of social worker Boni Frederick, 67, said Henderson, Kentucky, police Sgt. John Nevels. They will be formally charged with murder after being returned to Kentucky, Nevels said. America is a great place to live, indeed eh?

Unbelievable.  If your life sucks, I'm sorry.  But don't ruin the life of an innocent person, her 3 children and generations of people in their family because you are emotionally distressed.

 This country contiunes to disintegrate before our eyes on a daily basis.  Here is just one example:

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- A lovesick teenage girl drove into an oncoming car in a suicide attempt that she counted down "8, 7, 6..." in a text message to the female classmate who spurned her, authorities said. The teenager survived but a woman in the other car -- a mother of three -- died.

Louise Egan Brunstad, 16, was charged Thursday with felony murder. Prosecutors said they intend to try her as an adult. If convicted, she faces an automatic life sentence.

The rest of the story is on cnn.com

LOST continues to keep me in suspense and is my number one rated show so far in 2006.  Season three has not disappointed me yet, although the whole thing with the Others is beginning to get on my nerves a bit.  It would be nice if the producers of the show would not drag this out for the entire season (which I do not think they will do.)  For those of you who follow the show, there will be three more episodes in a row before LOST goes on a 12-week hiatus.  From there, the final 17 episodes will air consecutively.

Here are my weekly TV show ratings:

1. LOST: still the best show on television.  In this age of television where we get Law and Order and CSI jammed down our throats many times a week, this show is refreshing.

2. Greys Anatomy: I admit--I watch it every week, and sometimes it is interesting, but they are already using the gimmicky plots that ER has had to use for the last 5 years in order to keep viewers.  Already the show is based on a love affair that may or may not ever happen.  Been there, done that.

3. Studio 60: I am warming up to this show.  The critics are already calling for its cancellation.  I hope they keep it and see where it can go.  Aaron Sorkin is a great producer.

4. Survivor: I used to be a huge fan of this show.  Now it's just old, tired and played out.  I wish they would take a long break and bring it back another time.  The ratings are still good though.

5. Home Makeover: This show flat out rocks.  I'd rather watch shows like this that do some good rather than CSI New York, Miami, Jacksonville, Raleigh, Amarillo and Toledo.

6. Dancing with the Stars: Yes, I watch it, yes I like it.  The results show sucks, but I just watch the last part anyway.  Again, this is a new kind of show--no court rooms, hospitals or things like that.

7. House: We like this show, but haven't been watching it.  We will catch the re-runs.

8. 6 Degrees: I don't see this show making it, but I do watch it after lost.

9. Heroes: I'm done watching this show.

10. Debbie Does Dallas: Great Movie.

Dear. Chris Rock's mother....

As if you are the only person in the world who has been ignored at any restaurant for 30 minutes.  Cracker Barrel discriminates?  Please.  This coming from the mother of a son who makes a living making fun of white people. 

I was at a Cracker Barrel a month ago and waited 20 minutes to be waited on...does that mean they hate red headed white guys too?

CHARLESTON, South Carolina (AP) -- Rose Rock, the mother of comedian Chris Rock, claims she was racially discriminated against when she was seated but ignored for a half hour at a Cracker Barrel restaurant along the South Carolina coast.

Rock said Tuesday she planned to sue the Lebanon, Tennessee-based company. A Cracker Barrel spokeswoman said the restaurant chain was investigating and taking the complaint "very seriously."